Silly Mommy

Ever since I discovered Barnes & Noble in high school, I have always loved being in bookstores... Big, small, independent... While I do try and support locally owned businesses whenever I can, really, it doesn't matter to me as long as I can sit on the floor in the middle of an aisle with my cup of coffee and browse. While I rarely find the time to sit down and read these days, just being surrounded by books gives me great comfort.

It was very important for me to instill this love in Addie right from the start. Curt read to her while she was in utero and her Aunt Kate and Uncle Seth gave her a collection of 100+ titles before she was even born. One of her favorite things is being read to and she will often thrust a book into my hands, clench her fists and say "beeee, peeezzzee" (translation: "read please"). I love it!

I had accumulated a few gift cards to Barnes & Noble over the last several months and decided it would be the perfect outing for Addie and me yesterday afternoon. I would get a cup of coffee, we would share a scone and then spend an hour or two just hanging out in the store checking out all there is to offer. Ahhh, imagination. Seriously? Was Addie born 17 months ago, or was I? What was I thinking?

We made it into the store. We sort of shared a blueberry scone. She ran through the children's section picking up random titles that were not appropriate for her age level. I put them back. She cried because I would not let her have the books that we already own at home. I juggled my toddler, a stroller, a book I picked out for her, one she picked herself, my coffee and her juice haphazardly through the aisles. I avoided awkward glances from people while Addie growled from her stroller and I quickly tried to find what I was looking for. I spilled cold coffee on her head while I poorly navigated the curb cut to the parking lot. I strapped her into her car seat, shut the door, leaned on the side of the car and sighed. We made it out of the store.

This experience proved to me once again how naive I am about being a Mom and that I am constantly flying by the seat of my pants. It also taught me that these fantasies I come up with are so important. If I sat around and dreamt of the reality in taking Addie to a bookstore, we would never have left the house and I would have just made my purchases online. Convenient? Yes. Comforting? No. So sure, this visit may have been a borderline disaster, but I will choose to hold onto the hope that next time it won't be so bad... Right?