Careful what you wish for

Almost one year ago, I began this blog out of desperate frustration to get Addie into a good sleeping pattern. I needed a place to vent and release into the universe our troubles in the hopes that we would one day find some peace in a good night's sleep. Eleven months later, we have finally found it.

For the month or so prior to our vacation, we were once again bringing Addie into bed with us nearly every night. She was cutting molars and staying up with her for hours on end was not helping any of us, so we went back to an unhealthy pattern that seemed to work. Curt and I decided that after Disney, we would stop the madness and reclaim our bed for ourselves.

The following week was definitely difficult as many hours were spent listening to Addie cry, going in to check on and soothe her, and clinging to the moniter as we all eventually drifted to sleep. Once that painful hump was over, the strangest thing happened: Addie fell in love with her crib.

Now, my greatest dream has come true. When it's nap time or bed time, we follow her routine and then, just as I begin to rock her, she points to her crib and says, "Night, night." I ask her if she's sure and then she nods her head. I place her in her crib and she rolls over and goes to sleep without a peep. This happens nearly every time.

Due to this new development, I would say at least 90 minutes a day have now been released to me to do with as I please. I tell you, it is fantastic! Except for one very sad thing... Addie doesn't seem to want to be rocked anymore. Really, it's only about 30 seconds into her bedtime music and she's done, ready for independent sleep.

Back when it took about 45 minutes of rocking to get her to sleep and I was dying to join Curt to watch our favorite show, I tried to reframe the situation. I told myself to enjoy that time as much as I could because the day would come when I wouldn't be able to rock her any longer. I suppose I just didn't think it would be this soon.

Isn't that the way of it, though? As soon as I think I'm ready for her to reach the next milestone, she takes a leap and I'm left standing there to watch her soar. It's exhillerating, yet feels achingly empty at the same time. On the other hand...

For a while now, Curt has been giving Addie baths each evening and I'm the one that puts her to bed. Now that bedtime has suddenly turned into the easy job, he is awfully interested in switching with me. Not a chance, babe! I may pout a little after I walk out of her soothing, quiet room, but it's nothing that a nice glass of red wine can't fix. After all, I have worked hard for her nighttime freedom, and for mine--I might as well find a way to enjoy it.

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