Gentleness

After I wrote about New Year's resolutions, and I mean that same day, I read a post written by a wise friend. She talked about her holiday and then mentioned that she was still deciding what her theme for the year would be, along with this link. I was intrigued and had to check it out! I am not trying to steal anyone's thunder, but this idea spoke to me and gave me a sense of calm.

I held onto this new concept for about a week and determined that my word for 2010 will be: gentleness. As I ruminate on the type of mother, wife and friend I want to be, along with how I wish to relate to myself, this word stood out above all others. I know I can be rigid, hold high expectations, demand perfection and I am quick to frustration when things don't go the way I feel they should. In those ways especially, my worst enemy is myself. Knowing that, the best antidote is to allow gentleness to take over instead of anxiety or irritation.

Yesterday was my first attempt at exercising this new intention. After an exciting morning of taking Addie to the Explorium, we were both really worn out. Once she was asleep for her afternoon nap, I sat at my computer and stared at this very page for around 30 minutes before I decided today was just not the day for me to write. I gave myself permission to walk away and instead, lay down and take my very own nap.

Normally the guilt from not living up to the commitment I have made to myself--blog every week day--would have taken over the rest of my afternoon & evening and consumed my energy and focus. Not yesterday. I honored my wish for gentleness and gave myself the break my body told me I needed. I must say, it was so freeing and emotionally, I feel well.

This afternoon, while Addie colors and we sit with each other in creativity, I think I will make a reminder for myself that I can put somewhere in our home. My own expression of gentleness that I will see frequently and thus be reminded throughout the year that I can take a deep breath, relax and work on letting go.