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Consider this your notice

Dear Helena Marie,

While it has been a pleasure having you reside here for the past nine months, I regret to inform you that your lease has come to an end. You have been an excellent tenant and will be highly regarded long after your stay. Unfortunately, the area must be cleared immediately for reconstruction and renewal to make way for any potential future occupants.

I have taken the liberty to coordinate a new place of residence for you and have been assured that you will be provided every comfort and convenience in your new home. A welcoming committee has been assembled to assist you in this exciting transition.

Please consider this your notice to exit the premises as soon as possible. If you should choose to extend your stay beyond seven days, be aware that every measure will be taken to ensure your safe removal.

Sincerely,

Your mother's uterus

4 comments:

Kerry said...

Dude! Even I am getting impatient! Really, for the last couple of days or so! Thinking of you!

Den Bräckliga said...

Sara, you make my day!
Hilarious, funny, sincerely and gorgeous!
Really hope this lovlely little thing will come out soon!
All my love from the other side of the world!
/Lotta

mary said...

Hilarious! If this works, I'm gonna be SO mad that I never thought of it. Every single one of my guys overstayed their "lease".

Nicola (Which Name?) said...

LOL. Such a beautiful name!
Nicola