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I shake my head at me

There are blogs you go to when you want to see details and photographs of a perfect party, to get ideas, to get inspired... And then there's this blog. This is where you go to know that you are not alone in your mommy (or daddy) flub-ups.  This is where you can hopefully say "Oh my gosh, I've totally done that!" make a small grimace, mutter "Bless her heart," and then we can all laugh about it. Although, to be honest I'm not quite ready to laugh yet. Maybe we should first have a cocktail, then laugh. Yes, that's it.

So here's a quick recap of the last week:

Friday: Ran around like chicken with head cut off, finishing all that was not done earlier in the week due to onset of cold.

Saturday: Ran around like aforementioned chicken until 3 PM, taking short but meaningful breaks to soak in my brand new three-year old; let everything go that wasn't done once guests arrived and party began; enjoyed our friends, family and mostly my girl as she opened presents, ate cake and loved her day; nearly passed out as I realized once cake was cut and served that I had not taken a single picture of or at the party. Aye, there's the rub. Am officially the worst blogger ever.

Sunday: Recovered. Cleaned. Took care of sweet baby who was so thoughtful to wait until after her big sister's party was over to come down with fever/cold, which for our little Pukey Pukerton means... well... I suppose the nickname says it all.

Monday - now: Played with cool new toys, continued caring for sick babe (enter mounds of ick laundry, several sleepless nights and many tears cried by all), sucked it up during a lull of the sickness to pack everyone up and go on a fun outing to our local children's museum, collapsed at the end of each day too tired to move.

Every time I sat down this week to lay my fingers on these keys, I heard a cough that turned into more or looked down to discover that my after-party-deep-cleaning couldn't wait a moment longer as ants were making their way in for an early Spring snack.

Today it's Thursday and I'm still feeling exhausted, still doing laundry (I tell you, that Lena's gag reflex is EPIC--go away, mucus!!!), still sulking over my lack of attachment to my camera.  I very much desired to write a fantastic post about my Adrienne Ann's first three years: how they have flown by, how she continues to be the most incredible girl I have ever known, how she entered this world and enriched me beyond measure by making me a mommy, how I love her more than I could ever hope to convey with words... I want to say all that stuff, litter the post with an anthology of pictures and end it with gorgeous stills from the party I worked so hard on.

Though I haven't yet found a pocket of time this week big enough to fill with my heart, swollen in love for our Addie, in a way my tribute already exists right here in this space. Because for the last 2 1/2 years I have shared her story and experience as I know it, along with my journey as her mother. Where photos are lacking there are words. As much as I can, I chronicle it here for all to see: parts I'm proud of and the mistakes that make me want to slap myself on the forehead and shout, IDIOT!    

Deep down I know that at the end of the day, when the last kiss of the evening has been given, the final tickle has been handed out, the last book has been read and my babes are (sort of) asleep, how many pictures I took to document it all doesn't really matter. It's how we remember feeling on those special days and telling the stories surrounding them that make up a life shared together.

At least that's what I'm telling myself until the disc with my mom's pictures and videos arrives in the mail.

2 comments:

Dennis Ouellette said...

The CD is in the envelope and in the mail.

sara said...

Thanks, Dad--You are totally saving the day!